Taking loneliness personally

... how does this even fit into the Blog topic?
For one, I take it that "smart" people must to some point know loneliness. I consider being smart directly related to thinking. And thinking requires being alone - not talking, not listening. Just thinking.

Just as a side note. Some people might object, that being smart also implies knowing when to not think, and rather act. But strategically seen - not operationally, i.e. in not in the radical short term - thinking is the conditio sine qua non of being smart, and becoming smarter.

But this post is about the dangers of thinking. Particularly when concerning other people. When trying to make sense of emotions.
When you think a lot, practically non-stop, your emotions don't just stop occurring, no matter how much thinking and feeling don't go together. Emotions need to be dealt with though, and that often doesn't work by thinking. Perhaps it comes with experiencing things, that one has a better grasp and feeling for one's emotions.

So I walk through the street, and someone looks at me, thinking that I look weird... and that girl there, she smiled when she looked at me, I image how nice it would be if I went and talked to her. My boss at work said what I had completed was lacking features - he probably thinks I'm useless; and that football fan asshole at the bus station wouldn't stop smoking. At acrobatics practice though my partner was really open. She usually isn't that honest with me. I probably misjudged her when we just got to know each other.

The point is, none of this is true. That guy in the street couldn't give a damn less about me, and the girl is allowed to be simply happy. My boss didn't complain about what I'd done and actually offered my some suggestions that would make my software more integrated into his work. The football fan was just relaxing after an entire day of teaching kids. And my partner - well I'll never get her.

... and even this second version... is just a version. It all depends on the view point. When you think about it, different view points can start making sense.
But emotions don't make sense. And when you are lacking balance with something, your mind starts making things up.
You interpret feelings into places where they just don't belong. Go through life and be aware of what you feel, but don't let it get in the way of your understanding of the world.

Being lonely means you think too much. And you know you're thinking too much when you start taking simple facts of life personally.
Be open.
Be honest.
Show others what you feel, and be open to experience what they are feeling.
Honestly, if you can experience more with other people with less thinking, you'll be much less lonely. And personally, you'll feel much better.

Slightly dull but done is better than interesting just started

Hehe - the implication of the blog title, is supposed to be that I'm smart, but that I can't seem to get things done. I mean, I do get things done, but they never seem finished to my satisfaction. (... might sound arrogant.)

Being a reluctant student at university, I plague myself with educational tasks that I don't really want to do, the latest of which being my Seminar. I have to create a 20 page research essay on some topic.

I got going quite well, but then got mired down in muddy incomplete and mutually exclusive economic theories, and I ground to a halt.

Firstly, what helped me the most was to accept that I wasn't going anywhere.

My evenings suddenly became tolerable, I didn't stay up late into the night trying to figure out things I had no clue about. And I started to re-write my essay, leaving out much of the tasty things that I had wanted to include.
I'm not quite done yet, but I hope in 3 more days to have a presentable copy.

But what this experience made me think of the most, was the fact, that I seem to repeatedly find myself in situations, where I start out well, and then get into trouble because I try to do something fancy and exciting.
Nothing speaks against it, but tbh. I consider getting dull things fully done to be more exciting than starting  exciting things.


Maybe if you get some slightly dull things done easily, you still have time to do some other cool things.